We all have something in our life that terrifies us. For me, that thing was turning 30! And anyone who knows me, knows that I was practically on the verge of a meltdown because of it. I spent the last decade of my life planning how I would so magically usher in this dreaded age (married with kids and all, of course). As I inched my way towards ‘the day,’ (cue the horror music) it had become the worst birthday ever. I had anxiety over this day. It was all I could think about. All day, everyday. My life was over as I knew it. All this fear because my reality hadn’t aligned with my ‘dreams.’ There were specific things I had waited for my whole life that hadn’t been fulfilled yet, and the thought of turning 30 without those things threw me for a tail spin.
It hasn’t been that long since I entered into this new decade of my life. A decade that marked two failed 5 year plans, personal expectations unmet, unfulfilled aspirations and uncontrollable circumstances. However, it also marked a decade of serving in overseas missions, ongoing ministry, strengthened relationships, new friendships, undeserved grace, a dream career, and so much more.
The problem was that I focused on all the things that didn’t go as planned that I completely missed the mark. I failed to remember all the promises that that The Lord had already fulfilled in my life because I was so focused on the things I was waiting on for so long. I forgot about the lessons He taught me, the seasons in life that shaped and molded me into the woman I am today, the people He has placed strategically in my life to love, encourage and help restore me, and all the moments that He used for His glory. He has done immeasurably more than I could’ve imagined in my life and instead of focusing on that, I was so fixed on things I was still waiting for.
Over the many years leading up to 30, I have learned many valuable lessons. I’ve learned that the most valuable thing in life is to follow Jesus because this world means nothing if He isn’t the center of it all. I’ve also learned that only He can make beauty from ashes and only He can use our pain for a purpose. More than ever, 30 made me realize that this world is in desperate need of a savior and we need to be the very mouthpiece to share the love and hope of Jesus to a world that’s bursting at the seams. And for all my single ladies out there, I’ve learned that if you allow God to use you in your singleness, He will rock your world!
Over and over again, God has proved His goodness to be true in my life. There are still promises I am waiting on for The Lord to fulfill in my life, but as I wait, I look back on all that He has done and reflect on His faithfulness even in moments of unrest. I charge forward in full confidence as I wait patiently for the things I still hope for but do not yet have, trusting that His plan for my life is far better.